What Should've Been
by justanoutlaw
Summary: Regina struggles at the wedding of her other half.


Envy wasn't a good color, especially not on Regina Mills. She tried to avoid it when she could, and remind herself that she was on her own journey. Her happy ending was going to be what she never expected and it was building day by day. She had Henry, got to see Robin Jr. grow up, she knew that Roland was well taken care of by the Merry Men, Snow White was her family now and finally, the town respected her. Yes, most days, Regina was happy and didn't envy those that had a significant other.

At least not until the day her other half got married to the Robin from the Wish Realm.

It wasn't the huge affair one would expect for a queen, that wasn't either of their styles. Instead, they had opted for something intimate at the summer house overlooking the lake. The only guests in attendance were Regina, Snow, David, Emma, Henry, Zelena, Robin Jr. and Neal. Archie had agreed to come officiate, so it'd be someone that the Queen knew well. The outside was decorated beautifully, with feathers lining the path to the altar.

Regina entered the house, where the bride and groom were getting ready. David was with Robin in one of the dressing chambers, while the Queen was upstairs with Snow, Zelena and Emma (Henry was watching the little ones). Regina made her way up, holding the edge of her navy-blue dress as she did so. When she pushed back the door, she found the three women fawning over the Queen. Her dark hair had been pulled back in a bun and she wore a sleeveless mermaid style cream dress, that perfectly accented her curves. Zelena gently nestled the tiara in her hair, while Snow set up the veil. Regina knew she should be helping, but she got a feeling in the pit of her stomach watching the scene.

This should've been her wedding.

Without a single word, she turned back around and headed down the stairs to the backyard. She settled onto the back porch, pouring herself a glass of champagne and taking a long sip, overlooking Archie put the finishing touches on where the reception would be.

Despite everything that had happened, she had thought a lot about her and Robin's wedding day. It was going to small, much like this one. She would've pretended to put up a fuss, but eventually it would've been in the woods. She wouldn't wear white again, most likely a royal blue, or maybe something red or black. Robin wouldn't wear a tux; he would've gone with a dress shirt and some slacks. They would've tried to keep the guest list small, but between her family and the Merry Men, that would've been an impossible task. Snow would help her get ready and they'd talk about how far they had come; how happy Regina was to have her there for her first real wedding. Henry would walk her down the aisle, they'd exchange pre-written vows, where they'd promise to care for not just each other, but each other's children. The reception would have cake, booze and lots of dancing. And finally, the night would end with Regina making love to Robin, her soulmate, the man she had spent so long loving.

Now, that was never going to happen. And as happy as she was that the Queen was getting everything, she wondered why the literal embodiment of her darkness could get it, while she didn't.

The door opened and heels softly clicked behind her. Snow settled down into the opposite chair and grabbed a champagne flute, pouring herself some before topping Regina off.

"How's she doing?" Regina asked.

"She's just about ready. Zelena's doing the finishing touches on her makeup." Snow took a sip of her champagne. "She understands why you're not up there."

"I want to be. Trust me, I do. It's just…"

"You and Robin should've been married a long time ago."

Regina bit her lip, trying to fight the tears that gathered in her eyes. "This version of Robin, he's not the man I love. I am so happy that he found the Queen and that they're going to live happily ever after. They both deserve it; I genuinely mean that."

"It doesn't mean that it hurts any less."

Regina sniffled and Snow rifled through her beaded clutch, handing over a tissue. "Do you remember that universe we were all cursed in? The one Isaac created?"

"Kind of hard to forget, I wore those insanely uncomfortable dresses."

Regina laughed, in spite of herself, before growing serious once again. "In it, I had to watch Robin, my Robin, get married to someone else. That hurt. I couldn't remember that we were soulmates or our history, but I knew I loved him and it hurt to watch him do that. When that ended…I thought that I would never have to go through it again. And technically I'm not. It's not my Robin who's getting married today."

"Still…you're being reminded of what you could've had. What you should've had." Snow reached over and took her hand. "Life has been cruel to you, Regina. No amount of hope speeches or optimism can explain why. You deserved to have this be your wedding, with your Robin."

"It doesn't change that they deserve this too."

"Of course they do. Still, more than one half of you can be happy at a time."

Regina let out a shaky breath, dabbing her eyes with the tissue.

"You don't have to do this," Snow said. "We can get out of here. I'm sure the Queen and Robin would understand."

Regina shook her head. "I can't do that to them. Like I said, they deserve to be happy and I'm not going to take that away from them. I just need to get all of this out now."

Snow nodded. "Do you want me to sit with you until you're ready?"

Regina hesitated, before slowly nodding yes herself. They sat there on the back deck, watching as the guests filed out to their seats. David sat with Henry and Neal, while Zelena had Robin Jr. on her lap. The Robin who looked so much like the man Regina loved, yet wasn't truly him, walked down the aisle and stood beside Archie. The music changed and Snow squeezed Regina's hand once more.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Hand in hand, they walked down the aisle together, Snow keeping her grounded. They slid into their seats besides David and Snow didn't let go of her grasp as the wedding march started. The Queen started her walk down the aisle, towards the man she would spend the rest of her life with.

The wind picked up, causing the feathers to swarm around a bit and some fluttered away in the wind. One in particular, landed on Regina's lap. Using the hand that wasn't in Snow's, Regina grasped it, holding it close.

"I miss you too, sweetheart," she whispered." I miss you too."


End file.
